6.1 Inventors Fair Camo

‘Roll up, Roll up, the inventors fair is here'.

‘Come see the miraculous, the incredible, the fan-tab-u-lous' announced the orator from his tiny wooden podium. He then leans forward and whispers to you ‘I know that fantabulous is not a word, but this is an inventors fair and if you can't invent a few words here and there, then what's the point, ay!' His moustache twitches in excitement which seems to accentuate the shiny baldness of his head.

‘Buy your tickets here' he announces to the crowd gesticulating in a strange flourish of twisting wrists towards the booth and turnstile.

‘Now good people, ladies and gentlemen, have you been acquainted with the astounding Mr Arac, who will be demonstrating his incredible Home Spider Dentistry Kit or what about Dr Faustus and his amazing security device, The Magic Void'. He pauses for effect before he continues ‘It's a new type of security safe, soon to be available throughout the land (patent pending), its super light construction unlike those cumbersome iron boxes in banks. But best of all it is designed to lock away all your most valuable possessions inside a surprising quirk of space; time itself! It's the craziest thing, seeing your precious stuff just vanish into thin air and then be extracted once more. Go see him, he's at stall number 253. But then he mutters to you under his breath ‘I suggest you don't let him Magic Void your pet, last one came back a little squishy and the boys keeper and mum were quite disgruntled.'

Suddenly you have a ticket and are through the barrier, and there before you is stall - upon stall - upon stall, this is the inventors fair. Tents and turrets are pitched everywhere, flags and banners billow as smartly suited visitors amble between the stalls. Noises fizz from displays where plumes of pink and purple smoke waft from curious contraptions to the left, right and just about everywhere.

A voting paper is then thrust into your hand and you notice it has six spaces for nominations, this is what you need to fill in and post before you exit.

You glance back and see the sun glint off the Orators shiny head as he disappears back through the gates. His wrists spin above his glistening head as he funnels and encourages more paying visitors through the turnstiles.

Now to the fair.

As you approach the stall you see a room filled with smoke. As you walk inside you see a Professer with purple hair called Professer Bling and a large dinning table, in the middle is an enormous white glass plate with a brown dusty sort of flying saucer on top of it. On the saucer is a big glass screen with pictures of all the foods in the world. Professer Bling starts shouting "Introducing the Tummy Tum Tum, the Tummy Tum Tum makes instant food in a flash you could have all sorts of things, such as, steak, burgers, cake, Galaxy bars, double deckers, roast dinner and much much more." Professer Bling starts up the machine and taps a cheeseburger icon and then a "WHIZZ" and a "POP" sound comes out of the machine.

Then the most incredible thing happened, a cheeseburger pops out of the machine and onto the plate. The Professer wipes his sweaty forehead at the sight of this. On the other side of the red and blue tent is a little boy called Billy on a wooden stool, the Professer hands him the cheeseburger to taste. The little boy hesitate to eat the cheeseburger, finally he takes a big chunk out, " OUCH" he says suffering, " Their is a stone in the burger!!"

Unfortunately, Professer Blings machine had rocks, stones and pebbles in it. The rocks, stones and pebbles start to infect the Tummy Tum Tum and makes a life time load of cheeseburgers. The Professer questions, " What I'm a ment to do with all these cheeseburgers?" The Professer looks at you!!


Hurry and fill out your voting slipes before Proffesser Bling givers you a cheeseburger!!

As you approach the stall made out of ruby red velvet you see a tablet on a glittery, sparkly unicorn plate but thankfully not an edible one.

Your brain is not taking in how beautiful it really is but you feel compelled to buy it!

As you turn to glance at the charger tablet you notice it starts growing and growing and growing you ask professor Lemontator is this supposed to be happening?

Proffesor Lemontator replies yes. You hesitate a repeat the question over and over again, then finally with a blink of an eye it pops and returns to it original size you can't stop thinking how amazing it is!

As I ask how much is it? Professor Lemontator has a weird sly eye then I smell something strange ,I ask professor do you smell something strange? He replies no why? It might just be a fluttering scent through the air.

Next it started sparking professor wasn't playing attention instead he was reading his map in front of him.

After a while it started fizzing I blew the Sparks the smell and the fizz away I asked was this all surpose to happening he still wasn't playin attention. So in the end I gave him 20p tip and told him I'll pass today and carried on my way down the stalls.

So make a note on your voting slip before you move on and have a chat between each other as to what you think and what would you do if you were in this situation?

As you approach the stall ther are diamonds and gems glistening and shining in the sun.one person stands looking at the gems which cover the black table cloth.


Suddenly,you see a young girl called Emily. Emily picks up one of the blue sapphire stones and attaches it to her doll. The doll begins to talk to Emily and she was verry happy so happy that she giggled quietly to herself.

Emily gave £5.50 for the gem and danced off into the crowds of people.

A loud bang catches your attention.Glitter fliers every where and you run for cover.




Make a vote on your voting slip befor you move on.

As you approach the stall you see lava running down the suede walls, there is a thick layer of black smoke with 'nuclear radiation' signs stopping anyone from going further.

There is a enormous smart flat screen television with a big remote on the side of the huge arm chair.

It's like Wonzo the magnificent is in heaven, he collapsed when he stood in the smoke he had all the angels around him he had a great life up there wishing it was real.

wonzo then suddenly wakes up and screams that the dream was not true then he puts his hand in the TV as he sobbs his eyes out and came back as a Godzillas hand he started to giggle it was so heavy it pulled wonzo over

Then he woke up "I've been asleep for at least two hundred years" wonzo explained then out of the blue in his mind hells demands and the devel saitan destroyed the heaven that wonzo saw in his ears there was so much dust that filled the room from being so scared

Deep down in his heart in the roots was a cup full of love and wonzo went back home in Spain.

As you approach the big tent there are two men out side, Proffessor Nuthead and Proffessor Cookie. You step inside the tent and you see a cool flag , on the flag there is a nerf logo . With a nerf stall at the end of the tent with the invention to buy. There are lots of the mega silent destroyer for sale and the mega silent destroyer costs £15.99.

With this invention, you can turn invisible in a nerf if you want to sneak up on people and it includes nerf sling fire, nerf demolishire, nerf rino fire with six clips, tow barills and one hundred darts.

If you leave the mega silent destroyer op to five to six hours the gun will catch fire so be carful.

And just to let you know in a couple of months time we will make stickers special paint to edit your guns, clips, barills and dartos.

So give us a high amount of points and the person who give us the higher points will win the first mega silent destroyer EVER MADE.!!!!!!!!!!!

Just between the stall with ‘knicker stickers - you'll never get them in a twist again' and ‘Mr Slow Coach - the world's first professional slug trainer' is a stall which is double wide. A yacht sail is hoisted with the words ‘The Gastonaught Experience' below which there is a projection of a low quality film, perhaps a live stream.

‘And here we have our two new volunteers,' as two young men in a flat caps step up from the crowd. The technicians set about fitting the skinnier of the two into a very heavy diving suit whilst a great tank of oily green fluid is stirred to his side. Behind them, the screen shows the presenter and technicians helping the young man and it is obvious this live feed comes from the suits camera.

It's not long before a wooden crane hoists him across to the tank of green fluid. He waves confidently to the crowd as he is lowered down and the projection behind becomes very green as he descends. The gastronaught puts his thumbs up and you see him grinning through the armoured tank walls and his metal helmet.

The tank lid is secured down and then bolted whilst his friend waits behind a curtain oblivious.

Down from ten the presenter counts with the crowd joining in on the final three, two, one, zero. Then on the final digit the lights on the sides of the tank begin to glow, the water clears a little then bubbles begin to rise which makes it look like the fluid is slowly boiling!

Then all of a sudden the fluid is gone and with it the man in the suit. ‘Where is he?' someone pipes up from the crowd but the presenter is already standing by a small tap which he turns and draws off a glass of pink fluid. Inside there appears to be a tiny toy man but in the projection everyone could see a very large presenter peering into the lens.

The volunteer gastronaught has been shrunk!

But what happened next was even more incredible for the presenter took the glass around the curtain to the other volunteer, passing it to him to drink! A huge image of teeth then appeared on the screen behind as he swallowed the drink in a single gulp. The shrunken gastronaught was swallowed down in one!

On the projection screen the film showed the view from the gastronaught's perspective who was now swimming in his friends' gastric juices, he was in his friends' belly!

The presenter then placed a metal funnel to the volunteer's belly and positively shouted down it ‘Can you hear me?' And at this the gastronaught put his thumb up. ‘Great, now try to make your way along the tunnel we have about twenty minutes before you return to your real size and your friend here would rather you complete your journey with a successful evacuation before the time is up'.

Behind a timer begins to count down and the reality of what's just happened dawns on the volunteer, colour drains from his face as he turns to see the screen behind.

‘Now not to worry young man' said the presenter, ‘I am sure your friend can find his way past some of these . . . obstacles.' And the crowd laugh but you have a terrible feeling that this isn't going to play out very well so make a swift exit.

But before you move on make a mark on your voting sheet.

The Orator approaches, bald head glistening in the sun.

‘Place your sheets in the box and we'll see who the Inventor Supremo is in the 117th inventors fair'.

Is there one invention which is the best in your opinion? Have a discussion now and see which you think is the most impressive, when you have decided then please read on.

‘Good good.' Says the orator as you post your sheets, but suddenly there is a huge sound from the middle of the field, you look over and see a jet of blue flame snatch up into the air. A BOOM follows which is so loud you feel it in your chest, and the orators mouth drops open aghast at what is unfolding.

A flash follows with attendants and visitors running pell-mell away from the ‘Mr Bubbles, double bubble super fizz pop' tent. ‘Run for cover' they shout as people dive behind bales of straw just before the BIG explosion.

The next events seem to happen in slow motion as tents flatten across the field and flags bend horizontally away from the epicentre of Mr Bubbles. Then a black wall sweeps across towards you and there is only a moment to duck before it engulfs you. But thankfully it passes in a moment and you stand again to see the orator is covered head to foot in soot! He turns with mouth still open and moustache intact to the single flash of a reporter's camera.

‘Well it would appear that the 117th inventors fair has come to an abrupt end' he says to you with eyebrows raised as high as they will go.

The next day the local paper lands on your hall carpet with this very photograph, the orator is central, treacle black from head to foot and behind him the stately metal dome of Mr Bubbles is spurting with a mountain of foam.

The headline runs with ‘Inventor's Bubble Trouble. Hundreds flee from catastrophic fizzy pop explosion at the 117th inventors fair'.

To the left of the picture you can see yourself looking rather surprised.

What an event!


The End

What inventions would you have liked to have seen at the fair?

Are they big or small, can they be held in your hand, or carried on your back?

Is it edible, totally credible or just downright daft!

Have a talk amongst yourselves whilst the other groups catch up.