6.3 Inventors fair Pink

‘Roll up, Roll up, the inventors fair is here'.

‘Come see the miraculous, the incredible, the fan-tab-u-lous' announced the orator from his tiny wooden podium. He then leans forward and whispers to you ‘I know that fantabulous is not a word, but this is an inventors fair and if you can't invent a few words here and there, then what's the point, ay!' His moustache twitches in excitement which seems to accentuate the shiny baldness of his head.

‘Buy your tickets here' he announces to the crowd gesticulating in a strange flourish of twisting wrists towards the booth and turnstile.

‘Now good people, ladies and gentlemen, have you been acquainted with the astounding Mr Arac, who will be demonstrating his incredible Home Spider Dentistry Kit or what about Dr Faustus and his amazing security device, The Magic Void'. He pauses for effect before he continues ‘It's a new type of security safe, soon to be available throughout the land (patent pending), its super light construction unlike those cumbersome iron boxes in banks. But best of all it is designed to lock away all your most valuable possessions inside a surprising quirk of space; time itself! It's the craziest thing, seeing your precious stuff just vanish into thin air and then be extracted once more. Go see him, he's at stall number 253. But then he mutters to you under his breath ‘I suggest you don't let him Magic Void your pet, last one came back a little squishy and the boys keeper and mum were quite disgruntled.'

Suddenly you have a ticket and are through the barrier, and there before you is stall - upon stall - upon stall, this is the inventors fair. Tents and turrets are pitched everywhere, flags and banners billow as smartly suited visitors amble between the stalls. Noises fizz from displays where plumes of pink and purple smoke waft from curious contraptions to the left, right and just about everywhere.

A voting paper is then thrust into your hand and you notice it has six spaces for nominations, this is what you need to fill in and post before you exit.

You glance back and see the sun glint off the Orators shiny head as he disappears back through the gates. His wrists spin above his glistening head as he funnels and encourages more paying visitors through the turnstiles.

Now to the fair.

As you approach the stall you see a table and on it was a turned on touch screen flavours selector on a plane box of chewing gums and you go up to it and start swiping down on the screen and choosing your flavour.

But when he picked his chewing gum he took a bite and he heard a loud crunch and yelled because all of the chewing gums were made of pure solid gold discised as chewing gum! Which broke his teeth when he bit it and then the inventer who called himself dr Dave and his mean vishios dog Bob so he made a quick escape.

On the way to the next exhibit you pass several people with what would appear to be snow in their hair, which seems very odd with the weather in the way it is. Then you arrive at ‘the human snow globe' which is a huge glass dome and inside you can see several people walking around a little ruined castle making a snow man and throwing snow balls. Out of the top of the little folly, snow is whizzing about and it looks very convincing indeed but there is not enough space for sledging which is a shame.

On the table are hundreds of smaller snow globes just like the larger one, visitors coming out of the big dome are running over to the table and shaking the globes ‘there you are Dad' said the boy ‘oh and this one has Mum in too'. And sure enough the miniature snow globes had tiny captured 3D tableaus of the family playing in the snow just moments before.

‘Shall we get one for the mantelpiece?' said the father and the boy nodded.

Before you move on make a note on your voting slip as to what you think of this invention.

As you approach the stall you enter a black and red striped tent,it's empty apart from a statue dressed like a prince. His eyes follow you wherever you go. You see some paper on the table.You pick it up. Under the piece of paper was a hidden toffee apple that looked like a golden nugget. The packet said icky sticky bitty. You unwrap it and take a bite and hear a crunch, you pull the thing out your mouth and you see a worm.

Then the most incredible thing happened a half man, half donkey appeared from out of nowhere. He had the head of a donkey and the body of a man. He ee or'd at you and said "that worm will change flavours every 2minutes". As you reached for the worm the donkey man, made a squeal as the donkey head turned into a shark! You jump back and are back in the crowd of people laughing and jeering at the magic.

You feel scared of this magic quickly make an exit.

This black and white striped tent has a red ribbons holding the door flap open and inside it is thick with smoke and steam. The crowd jostles to get a better view but you squeeze your way through to the front where you see three large cages. One to the left, another to the right and then a smaller elevated one in the middle. This central one is connected to the other two by a series of copper pipes that follow the flanks of each cage and then dive together into a single mechanism. It reminds you of a steam locomotive or an old fire engine and you watch aghast as an operator ushers a live zebra into the first cage. On the other side another operator in the same crisp overalls places a single daffodil in the other cage and then both cages are slammed shut.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be bedazzled for before you stands The Super Splice Device' and at this he throws a handle and a deafening noise comes from the central mechanism.

The lights dim as it sucks on the electric and you see the zebra begin to kick wildly at it's bars. Then there is a flash and lights go out in the cages and you can't see either the zebra or the flower, the cages appear dark and empty!

A second thrum issues, and the lights dim again as the central machine begins to whine even louder and then, umph followed by a pop sound from the third cage, but it's too dark to see inside.

The operator lets go of the handle and the machine spins down until it is quiet in the tent, slowly he walks over to this central cage, everyone is peering at it, trying to see what's inside. A chain is pulled and the cage door is slowly lifted with the operator tentatively putting his hand into the darkness. He grasps something, and you are so close you can almost touch it yourself, this he lifts out and holds aloft for all to see.

What was once a single daffodil in the first cage seems to be combined now with the zebra as it is the same but with black and white striped flutes. An enormous round of applause comes forth but you are wondering where the beautiful zebra has gone.

‘Behold, the incredible splice device has taken the beauty of the flower' and the daffodil's cage lights up ‘and spliced it with the zebra'. The lights then go on in the zebra cage and the animal walks out a little dazed but in seemingly good health.

‘Now a volunteer' the operator says and starts scanning the crowd, but you are out of there before he can pop you in one of his cages!

What did you think of this invention, write your notes on your voting slip before you move on.

As you approach the mustard yelo and ketchup red tent . You smell a sweet smell of juicy fruits you slowly start to pull open the silk curtains of the tent. You are.Shocked of what you see inflatable couerful bubbles floating in the tents wet wrappers covering the floor . In the distance you see puffs of smoke behind the smoke your suprised to see a great big silver machine one side looking like a microbe the other like a sewing machine next to the machine lay a white wooden table with little square packetts in yellow and red wrapping the writing saying flover

You soon realize that it's chewingum next to the table your standing infant off you realize that the machine is producing more and more.

In the far corner you see that there is a big man wearing a lather costume and golden chains swinging back and forth. You ask the man excuse me sir what is this ? The gentle man doesn't reply suddenly you hear a Big Bang you turn around and see the machine exploding and all off the bubbles pop you run strait for the exit.

As you approach the stall you see a big sale for boots so you buy them try them on then you realise that they are magnetic you try to jump but you float back to the ground then he asked the woman behind the desk are these boots magnetic are are they different boots too others?gabby the woman behind the desk said no they are the same as other ones.But I did not know they were magnetic though it did not say it on the tag.On the tag it said boots for digging up your garden.Ok said gabby that will be £3.50 please.

So you buy them and start digging up your garden then you finish your garden then you try and jump again and you stayed up in the air for a long time but you realise you was not in the air you was still on the floor suddenly you jumped up and you got up there that time for 10 seconds but then you fell again.Then you hear screaming your wife was home she brought you for you.She was screaming you own me £10.57 Ok.Then where you was digging up your garden a crowd of chickens attacked you then remember you have a pen that freezes ever animal that's around you your wife stopped you and said what are you doing to them?The army is coming down tomorrow so you have to behave

What do you think what are you doing? Said the soilder

The Orator approaches, bald head glistening in the sun.

‘Place your sheets in the box and we'll see who the Inventor Supremo is in the 117th inventors fair'.

Is there one invention which is the best in your opinion? Have a discussion now and see which you think is the most impressive, when you have decided then please read on.

‘Good good.' Says the orator as you post your sheets, but suddenly there is a huge sound from the middle of the field, you look over and see a jet of blue flame snatch up into the air. A BOOM follows which is so loud you feel it in your chest, and the orators mouth drops open aghast at what is unfolding.

A flash follows with attendants and visitors running pell-mell away from the ‘Mr Bubbles, double bubble super fizz pop' tent. ‘Run for cover' they shout as people dive behind bales of straw just before the BIG explosion.

The next events seem to happen in slow motion as tents flatten across the field and flags bend horizontally away from the epicentre of Mr Bubbles. Then a black wall sweeps across towards you and there is only a moment to duck before it engulfs you. But thankfully it passes in a moment and you stand again to see the orator is covered head to foot in soot! He turns with mouth still open and moustache intact to the single flash of a reporter's camera.

‘Well it would appear that the 117th inventors fair has come to an abrupt end' he says to you with eyebrows raised as high as they will go.

The next day the local paper lands on your hall carpet with this very photograph, the orator is central, treacle black from head to foot and behind him the stately metal dome of Mr Bubbles is spurting with a mountain of foam.

The headline runs with ‘Inventor's Bubble Trouble. Hundreds flee from catastrophic fizzy pop explosion at the 117th inventors fair'.

To the left of the picture you can see yourself looking rather surprised.

What an event!


The End

What inventions would you have liked to have seen at the fair?

Are they big or small, can they be held in your hand, or carried on your back?

Is it edible, totally credible or just downright daft!

Have a talk amongst yourselves whilst the other groups catch up.